The Dreaded Bootcamp Stairs
As my friends & regular followers know, I love
Bootcamp. There’s something narcissistic
about getting up before dawn to work your body towards exhaustion, all in the
name of getting fit & looking good.
Yet there is one element of Bootcamp that I don’t think I’ll ever get used to or like. “The Dreaded Bootcamp Stairs” are I’m sure an ancient medieval torture tool, reincarnated by our trainers to exert as many profanities, uuurrrggghhhss, gggggrrrrrssss & stamping of feet as possible.
“Stairs are great for interval training & cardio fitness”, I hear you say. Righteo then I’d like to see you rock up & do 3 sets of 4 reps on these particular stairs, which by the way aren’t all the same size or tread, which means there’s a constant change in cadence & rhythm. Oh I forgot one thing ... you have to sprint up them, past them another 20m uphill to a bollard before you can turn around.
The stairs become an individual challenge for every bootcamper, a mental & physical challenge. I spend the session saying to myself “1/12th done”, “1/6th done”, “1/2 done”, “2/3rds done”, “3/4 done” ... by now I’m so spent, I’m just trying super hard to focus on just breathing & not falling over.
On Tuesday we did the stairs – they were the worst ever. I have no idea why. Maybe my fitness has really gone astray in the past 6 months? Maybe it was the heat? Lack of food? Who would know, but everyone was in the same boat. I also seemed to be doing them much slower than usual (hopefully this was just in my mind). By the time we had finished, everyone had the shakes & was wrecked.
Silly me went home & spent the day in the garden. Even sillier me spent another day in the garden yesterday.
You know you have worked hard when it hurts to get out bed in the morning (check), when bending over to pick something up is excruciating (check), when getting off of the couch makes you have real empathy for the old (check), when stepping up onto the kerb takes calculated timing & a run up (check!) and finally when you have to use the wall to lower yourself onto the toilet (CHECK!).
So on this Valentine’s day all I really want is:
Yet there is one element of Bootcamp that I don’t think I’ll ever get used to or like. “The Dreaded Bootcamp Stairs” are I’m sure an ancient medieval torture tool, reincarnated by our trainers to exert as many profanities, uuurrrggghhhss, gggggrrrrrssss & stamping of feet as possible.
These aren't The Dreaded Bootcamp Stairs ... but they look very similar!
“Stairs are great for interval training & cardio fitness”, I hear you say. Righteo then I’d like to see you rock up & do 3 sets of 4 reps on these particular stairs, which by the way aren’t all the same size or tread, which means there’s a constant change in cadence & rhythm. Oh I forgot one thing ... you have to sprint up them, past them another 20m uphill to a bollard before you can turn around.
The stairs become an individual challenge for every bootcamper, a mental & physical challenge. I spend the session saying to myself “1/12th done”, “1/6th done”, “1/2 done”, “2/3rds done”, “3/4 done” ... by now I’m so spent, I’m just trying super hard to focus on just breathing & not falling over.
On Tuesday we did the stairs – they were the worst ever. I have no idea why. Maybe my fitness has really gone astray in the past 6 months? Maybe it was the heat? Lack of food? Who would know, but everyone was in the same boat. I also seemed to be doing them much slower than usual (hopefully this was just in my mind). By the time we had finished, everyone had the shakes & was wrecked.
Silly me went home & spent the day in the garden. Even sillier me spent another day in the garden yesterday.
You know you have worked hard when it hurts to get out bed in the morning (check), when bending over to pick something up is excruciating (check), when getting off of the couch makes you have real empathy for the old (check), when stepping up onto the kerb takes calculated timing & a run up (check!) and finally when you have to use the wall to lower yourself onto the toilet (CHECK!).
So on this Valentine’s day all I really want is:
- A massage – the sports, unsensual kind
- An Epsom salts bath
- 2 panadol, 2 nurofen - I'd ask for morphine but think this may be seen as a little melodramatic
- An early night – to sleep!
I'm pretty sure we'd all run super fast up the stairs for these guys!
(Just a bit of Valentine's eye candy I had to share)
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